Around this time of year, we always see an increase in zombie attacks. If this is your first experience with zombies, you’d better be prepared if you want to survive. Luckily for you, here are a few tips on how to survive the zombie apocalypse!
Find an awesome hideout This means abandoned buildings, treehouses, underground bunkers, etc. Bonus points if you find yourself a grocery store.
Weapons You’ve got no chances of surviving unless you can defend yourself against the zombies. Since, they are dead, you have to get creative with your choice of weapons. Potential weapons include, but are not limited to: onions, flash photography, washing machines, honey, those toy cars that toddlers drive in, and mirrors. Remember: anything can be used as a weapon, so BE CREATIVE!
Protect the braaaiin It’s a well known fact that zombies are after your brain. Now amateur apocalypse survivors might think that once they get to you, they devour your brain on sight. But fun fact, they actually love to prepare their food. Make a whole event out of their meals. If you fail to defend yourself and the zombies decide they’re in the mood for a snack, then you are dead and your brain is theirs to enjoy. However, you can make your brain extremely unappealing to eat. This means you change up your lifestyle a little. I’m talking a diet of ketchup on mac & cheese, pickles and peanut butter, etc. Your taste buds might hate you, but at least you’ll have one last laugh against the zombies.
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em Hey, you never know. Life may be more fun as a zombie. Join the dark side, eat some brains. Maybe someday in the future, someone may develop a cure and you’ll be human again. Or not, and you either get killed by a zombie hunter, or simply live forever as a zombie.
Now you’re really prepared for the zombie apocalypse. Best of luck! Cover art source: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/surviving-the-zombie-outbreak-gerald-kielpinski/1114058127